


Reason #4309 Why Ed Will End Up a Widower

by Lumelle



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 12:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11944521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: A text from Hughes gets Ed worried. Well, angry, really. Angry-worried.Trust Roy to always spring surprises on him.





	Reason #4309 Why Ed Will End Up a Widower

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pyrrhical (anoyo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoyo/gifts).



> Because turnabout is fair play and nobody should go without new fic.

When the message tone beeped, Ed very nearly didn't look at it.

It wasn't just that he was antisocial and grumpy, though after a long day he was very much both of those. Really, though, he was just tired, and wanted nothing as much as to get home and flop down on the couch for the rest of the evening. This wasn't the chime for Al's messages, nor was it Roy. That meant that whoever it was, the message probably meant some sort of trouble. The sensible thing to do would be to simply ignore it.

Of course, Ed had never been very good at being sensible. Taking his phone out, he failed to turn it off, and instead turned on the screen to at least see who was messaging him. Seeing Hughes' name on the lock screen, Ed blinked. Hughes only ever messaged Ed to send pictures of his family or ask him to come drag Roy out of the office, but there wasn't a picture attached and it was not nearly late enough for Roy to have gotten into workaholic mode yet. That tickled his curiosity enough to actually open the message.

_'So I heard I should congratulate you two?'_

Ed blinked. That was… weird. He quickly typed back.

_'Congratulate us for what?'_

_'Oh, didn't Roy tell you yet? He said he was bringing the little one home today!'_

Despite himself, Ed's blood ran cold. Little one? As in… a child? It was one thing for Roy to go around flirting with anything on two legs that wasn't an actual bird, but Ed had always figured it was just some twisted ego thing. This, though… you didn't get babies from flirting.

Had he been so wrong all this time? Sure, he couldn't trust Roy to even remember to pick up milk, but he'd at least hoped he could trust him in the important things.

Well. The things Ed considered important. If there was any truth to this, clearly Roy didn't agree.

If the text had come from anyone else, Ed might have thought it was some kind of a stupid joke. Someone like Hawkeye wouldn't have hesitated for a moment to poke fun at him, possibly because Roy had done something to annoy her. This was Hughes, though, who would not make such jokes, and definitely not about kids. Rather, he was exactly the type to think nothing of congratulating Ed for the dubious honor of having his boyfriend bring home someone else's kid, because for Hughes family was the most important thing.

Maybe Hughes had misunderstood something. Maybe it wasn't just Ed someone was playing a joke on. Either way, he really needed to get home right away and figure out what was going on.

Ed wasn't even sure what he was feeling as he headed home, probably a little faster than was necessarily wise. Hurt? Angry? Nervous? Maybe a little bit of each? He tried not to get too deep into his emotions before he knew exactly what was going on, for all that there was a storm brewing inside him. Maybe Hughes was exaggerating and the "little one" was actually a ten-year-old Roy had fathered before he'd started dating Ed at all. Maybe the heavens would open and down would rain a bunch of coconuts that crushed him to death so he never had to find out. Hey, anything could happen.

"Roy!" By the time he'd reached home, the storm had grown up to a hurricane large enough that he threw the front door open with all the strength he had. "What the fuck is going on?!"

Roy didn't seem fazed at all, looking over from his seat in the living room as Ed rushed closer. "Ah, Edward." And of course Roy had to be perfectly calm, probably because he knew it just annoyed him more. "Do you have to shout so? You'll scare him."

"Scare who?" Ed didn't freeze. He absolutely didn't. The cold feeling spreading through him was just, uh, just feeling chilly after practically running to the door. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Him, of course." Roy lifted up something, and Ed prepared himself to have his heart broken, except of course that wouldn't happen, he wasn't that weak. Except instead of a baby, Roy was holding…

"A puppy?" Ed blinked. That was… not something he had expected.

"As should be evident." The puppy wiggled in Roy's hands, licking his face, and somehow Roy's expression didn't even flicker. "I didn't mean for him to be a surprise, really, but things got a bit out of hand."

"You got us a puppy." Ed wasn't sure what to say, really. He walked around the couch to get a better look at the puppy. He was no expert on dogs, so he couldn't really tell what breed it was, but it seemed to be a lively one. "Is this what Hughes was talking about?"

Roy snorted. "I did ask him to let you know, but it's rather typical that he'd forget the important details, being so enthusiastic about small and cute things." He glanced at Ed. "Is everything all right? You seem a little out of sorts."

"No, it's… it's nothing." Nothing. He'd been afraid for nothing. Of course Roy wouldn't actually cheat on him, that was the one line Roy wouldn't cross, not even with all his flirting.

"Hm." Roy didn't seem to believe him, and Ed fully expected to be questioned further at some point, but for now, he wasn't pushing the issue. Ed flopped down on the couch next to him, peering closer at the new addition. "He needs a name."

"And you waited for me to come home before deciding? I'm flattered." He was, kind of, though he was also teasing.

"Well, I wanted to check if you'd prefer Dwarf or Midget."

And really, it was probably all for the better that Ed's anger had not entirely faded yet, because now he got the perfect excuse to air out some of it.


End file.
